Bissell Featherweight Stick Vacuum

Holy shit this little puppy is handy. With two dogs and now two cats, the hair gets a little overwhelming. We used to sweep it up, but noticed a lot of shit floating around in the air when we did. We have a big canister vacuum that works good on carpet, but we only have one carpeted room in the house, and it’s pretty fucking bulky for daily use.

That’s where this little motherfucker shines. It’s so light and easy to empty out, plus you aren’t spreading a bunch of fine hairs around the air that you breath. I’m sure some dander and shit gets through it, but nothing like when you’re sweeping it up with a broom.

Also, the witches love it for their local coven meeting.

Haha, I’m just kidding. They use this one, because it’s stylish and cordless:

I haven’t tried that slick bastard out, but it looks nice, and if you buy it just to see if it’s as fantastic as it looks, I get some $$$.

That’s the real reason I put it there; to sell shit other than my soul. That and I knew you weren’t going to believe the whole bullshit story when you pictured a witch flying a stick vac with a fucking cord. That’s preposterous.

Anyhow, we recently had a bunch of kitchen renos done, and this little vacuum was integral for keeping the sawdust and shit out of our socks. It just sat there quietly in the corner, and the moment things quieted down, out it came and did it’s thing, slicker than whale shit.

I just assume whale shit is slick, because it’s in the ocean. You’d think I would Google that up, but I never do.

Fuck it, I just checked and the actual saying is “slicker than whale shit on an iceberg”. That seems too long. Kind of like “Hotter than a half fucked fox in a forest fire”. It’s funny, but you have too much time to start breaking it down.

Holy fuck, do I ever digress.

If you are looking for an affordable alternative to sweeping or lugging around big vacs, click on the picture below this. If you’re not concerned about affordability, click the photo above. I will appreciate either one.

Cheers, fuckers

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