I’ll tell you something that you might not know:
Cats fucking really like laser beams.
Not phaser beams. Laser beams.
They would probably love phaser beams too, if they could figure out how to aim them at birds and fire, but they don’t have opposable thumbs, so we needn’t worry about that.
We’re really impressed with this little contraption, especially after going through a ton of those little watch batteries in these little laser pointers.
They’re okay, but they don’t last very long, and the buttons seem to wear out as fast as the batteries. We’ve used the Bolt for at least five hours already and the four AA batteries are still going strong. They weren’t even fancy batteries, just plain, old Eveready Energizers
You can also use it without the automatic setting. If you hold the button down for five seconds after it starts, it will just go solid and you can play with the cats that way. A fun thing to do is aim it at a sleeping dog’s ass and get ready for some good, old-fashioned fun.
It will automatically shut itself off after fifteen minutes, so you can just hit it and quit it. That’s why we got this one. Our arms were getting sore from all the red dot that the cats wanted to play. It got to the point where they would just sit and meow at us until we played with them. It’s like: “No, fuck you kitty. You are here for my entertainment. Dance, motherfucker.”
You might think I’m joking, but you don’t know how entitled these little pricks are. In. Out. In. Out, but not all the way out. Maybe in again, but not right now. Okay… now. It’s fucking incessant. I think they’re trying to get us into a state of complacency so they can do some grand scheme or something, but everyone says I’m crazy.
They may have my wife fooled, but I know they are up to something.
So if you’re looking for one of these babies, click the photo below and get one. If you’re looking for something else, click it anyway and search through Amazon. Then buy something so I can make my fortune off the backs of others.