Crawford Kitchen Commercial Food Dehydrator

We got this baby in the spring and immediately set to work drying fruit and meat. It works very well… I think.

How the fuck would I know, really? I have never had another dehydrator to compare it with. I know it dried all of the things we put in it, and I feel that’s the main thing that makes a dehydrator what it is. I know that the insides haven’t rusted yet, so I am assuming that the inside is in fact all stainless steel, contrary to other people stating otherwise. I didn’t take a file to the racks to see if it was just chrome plated tin, or whatever the fuck it might be, all I know is that it was a couple hundred bucks cheaper than the comparable Excalibur model, and me being a cheap prick, went with the unknown.

Before you start ragging on me because of my math skills, it was a couple hundred cheaper when we bought this, now it’s $150 cheaper. Either way I would have tried it, so take your fucking judgey opinion and sit ondehydrate it.  I wanted to wait and actually use the thing before I reviewed it, which really fucks things up for me, because by the time I published this there have been fifty eight reviews on, so I’m not special anymore.

Oh well, even if this helps one person, it’ll be worth it, (provided they click a link on here and buy something through Amazon). If not, then I just wasted half an hour of my life for my own entertainment. In that case I would have been better off rubbing one out to some clown porn. That only takes four minutes. Five if you include clean up.

So, back to reviewing this thing:

  1. It’s big and heavy – I assume that means it’s solidly built and stainless steel is heavier than polymers and other shit.
  2. It probably sucks back extra power – It’s 1000W compared to the 600W of the Excalibur. I don’t know if that equates to faster drying though, as I have never used the other.
  3. It has ten trays and a roll of non-stick mesh that you can cut and place on the trays – The included roll is enough to cover four of the trays, I think. Apparently these other sheets are really good if you need to buy some extras.
  4. It makes great jerky and dried fruit – We have eaten several pounds of dried meats, and it helped us through several road trip legs where we didn’t have to stop and shit. Enter the fruit. We saved that for when we knew we were stopping for a day or so.
  5. We also dry catnip and other herbs with it – Due to an unforeseen catnip seed accident, we were fuckedblessed by a shitload of catnip plants in our grow room. I’m hoping we get blessed by a pot seed accident when it becomes legal here in July 2018. Then we’ll really test the endurance of this bulky bastard.
  6. It just looks professional – Seriously, if you go to someone’s house are you going to be impressed by this?

Sure it probably works great, judging from reviews, but you couldn’t make five pounds of jerky at a time in it. Probably.

No, you need more dried meat in your diet, so you should go all out when it comes to completely binding up your digestive tract.

Come on, you know you want it.

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