RoadPro 12-Volt Portable Stove

“Hey man, you want a street slider?” asked our safety hand.

“What the fuck are you talking about? What’s a street slider?”

I still don’t know what the fuck he was talking about, but he did give me a steamed hot dog with all the fixins. The cool thing was that this happened about an hour from any town, and out of the passenger side of his pickup truck. In a snowstorm.

He had a RoadPro 12-Volt Portable Stove, the same as the one I used to use when I drove long haul. Well, mostly the same. My old one had an inline fuse in the 12-volt plug, and this one has a door that breaks off every other day, and a mini fuse.

I had always used mine for pizza pockets and grilled cheese, but never tried doing hot dogs in them. They were really good. He put a bit of water in with four weiners and then he put the buns on top in some aluminum foil.

The buns were nice and soft, and the weiners were juicy and tender. Sort of like any fucking weiner. It’s the most tender meat on the market. With the possible exception of Spam. (If you didn’t click that link, you should. It’s fucking amazing. What would they even taste like?)

Anyhow, I plow snow now and bought myself a RoadPro stove for my cold winter shifts. Seeing as I’m not single anymore, I don’t live off of a junk diet. Nowadays I heat up frozen dinners that my wife lovingly prepares for me ahead of time. I put them in those cheap aluminum loaf pans and plug in about 45 minutes before I want to eat.

Before you give me shit about the pan link, those are just to show you the pans. You can get them at the dollar store a lot cheaper, and you don’t have to buy that many at a time. You can also reuse them. Hold on there, friend. I already know you aren’t fancy. You’re cooking in a fucking lunchbox oven whilst on the move. Get over yourself and save yourself a bit of dough.

I tell you, it pays for itself with the money we save on lunches. You can cook just about anything in them, because they heat up to 300ºF, so you could have eggs and bacon if you wanted to. Provided you like slow-cooked, rubbery bacon.

Hey, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Remember the little door that pops off, and I noticed there was a bad review on Amazon where the guy gave it one star.

I guess I’m lucky. I just work until I start getting hungry, then I plug it in. When I smell the chili throughout the truck, I stop and eat. By then, I am ready to wolf that molten fart fuel down and then get back to work making the truck smell like recycled chili. Luckily I read the part about 300ºF temperatures, so I never tried putting plastic in there. Or glass, for that matter. To scared of hitting a bump and breaking glass into my meal. If I did break glass into my food, you can be damn sure I would be dropping stars on my review. Everyone knows it’s the manufacturers fault that consumers have no common sense.

Give me a fucking break.

So if you’re looking for a good way to have some hot food on the road, or even at home if you have an adapter for the house, this is a solid bet. Mine is, anyhow. I don’t even bother putting the door back on anymore, because really, who gives a shit?

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